As I mentioned earlier my player stopped or is trying to stop chasing. Though he feels controlled and is frustrated by the situation.
I have been out a few times with male friends that he says are my shiny new toys and my player wanted it known that this is hypocritical given all that he is doing. I agreed.
My response to him was that he can feel free to chase and fuck but I cant promise to stay here if you do. I know myself and I know what hurts me and this is it. I’m not saying I will leave we will have to wait and see when it happens. But if he is that unfulfilled and miserable then why would I stay? There are men who will love me as I am and remind me every day I am beautiful and a blessing in their lives. Why would I stay with my player whose actions remind me that I am inadequate and less than perfect?
All things being equal I pointed out that he has a main chick and a side chick. I only have my player. I am not saying I deserve or expect to have a main guy. Just the opposite. I like my player. I am happy with him. And he keeps me fulfilled and satisfied. But if equality is the topic at hand let the record show that my player is ahead by one. He says I can have as many guys in my roster as I want as it makes no difference to him. While I wish he didn’t want to chase and didn’t want me to chase either I see clearly we are in different places with this. So much of this is my issue; my insecurity. I need to let it go and continue to have fun.